- Dark Love -
I was very happy when I completed Dark Love yesterday. I was afraid I would lose too much interest in it and as a result not complete it. I wanted the drawing to go in line with Lost Dreams and partly Dark Hope, with the squared floor, which I absolutely love. I want them all to have a certain mood and mystery surrounding them. They are all done in colour pencils only and it takes time and patience to work entirely in colour pencils, especially with larger areas such as the purple wall.
While I didn’t want to add the meaning behind this drawing, as I felt it would be better to leave it up to you, the viewer, I decided to do it in the end as it’s important to the piece.
It seems that when I go through something important and changing in life I create a piece to kind of symbolize it and to get it out.
My year didn’t start out too well. While I was generally happy I think I realized something important this year. Perfect is an illusion. In many years I’ve tried to create perfect in my head. Perfect in the sense that it would be as I imagined, that things would be just right and feel just right. I think last winter I realized I will never have perfect, in my life, my art, in myself, in love. While it might seem like an impossible thing to wish for I guess after many rather frustrating years filled with loss and doubts I had this idea that I was finally reaching a state of perfect. I’ve set the standards a little too high. I don’t think I believe as much in perfect anymore and that might not be a bad thing.
In love and life there are always sparkles, like a shiny heart seeming attractive, mesmerizing you. It can blind you and grab you. What can seem so attractive on the outside can be so dangerous and bring darkness to you. The surface can be scratched, some wound deeper than other. While it hurts it’s what forms you and makes you who you are.
I think doing what makes you happy and trying to accept the imperfections in yourself, your work, and the people surrounding you will bring you the most peace. I’ve driven myself crazy with wanting to perfect everything through life, probably because life (especially childhood and youth) never was very fun or easy for me and far from perfect. The day I decided to live for myself, follow my own dreams, what I loved, was the day my life started changing and become better.
Model, Becca. Ref: link
Colour pencils, Lana drawing paper (150g/m2).
(
30x40cm |12x16")
© Zindy S. D. Nielsen |
