ok i know this is for drawings only and stuff but this is most viewd and i needed your views on a friend of mines poems, shes 15 years old and i wud like to know what you guys think of her poems to show her the views of others. she hides her poems becuase she doesnt like people viewing them, i asked her if i cud show u guys so, tell me what u think
I’m the worst nightmare, a terrible dream
A boy’s ancient love, a fragile queen.
I’ll take his heart and rip it out
Show what personal vendetta is all about.
Revenge is sweet, it mends my soul
Ruining a life is my only goal.
He broke my heart, torn it deep within
This is a chance to do the same to him.
Demonstrate aches from somewhere inside
Explain the feeling of knowing loves died.
Illustrate pain, right to the bone
Give the satisfaction of really being alone.
Bless him with scars, blood and one bruise
A game he’s always destined to lose.
what do you think of that one, tell me and ill post some more but i truely think she has potential
Re: Comments please
It's so strong, I really like her way of describing the things, it's very intense. I think she definitely got talent. Please post some more.
A poisoned love to keep so rare, a secret incision
never to share. Cruel intentions, a heart confused, weak to
fragile, so battered and bruised. Ventriloquits puppet,
frustration incomplete, all faith lost at its own defeat.
People who seek attention get under my skin
the kind of fungus that grows deep within.
Smothering my bones
and eating away at the flesh,
becoming an irritation thats making a big mess.
Too far in to pick away,
this infection will never see the light of day.
ill try and get some more from ehr if you like
Handle the pretty poison
pretend its a herbal tragedy you hold
the flow of veins it will pollute
this half heart you own will turn cold.
Reach for the glittering shine
the disguise of a venomous knife
your pale skin the blade will pinch
before unmaking this disgraceful life.
Open the morbid container
pick out the medication you desire
push to the back of your throat
and wait for the moment you expire
Touch the pitiful trigger
All this excitement because of a gun
into your bones the bullet will pass through
Fall into the grave, from now ends your fun..
pins in the doll.
scarred for life.
- she confesses.
|Thread||Thread Starter||Forum||Replies||Last Post|
|comments about this drawing (i'm new)||Julieta||Artists Help||23||01-17-2005 05:40 PM|
|new drawing, comments please!||Luna||Zindy's forum||11||10-16-2004 10:08 PM|
|Hey I'm new here. Would love to here some comments!||Elena||Zindy's forum||5||09-08-2004 10:16 AM|
|comments....||lindsanator||Zindy's forum||0||09-06-2004 10:38 PM|
|some drawings.. comments plz...||tessika||Artists Help||3||06-10-2004 07:31 PM|